I haven’t posted a lot about jail ministry lately — maybe because I’ve been a little burned out and a LOT worn out. When the busy-ness of life becomes overbearing, it’s easy for even things we love to be relegated to “just another commitment,” or thought of as, “just another thing I have to do.”
I love jail ministry with everything in me, but lately I’ve been so busy with life that I’ve felt drained. I’ve been praying that God would rekindle my spirit and return my joy. I wanted my passion back.
This last Monday night, we started a new session and had 10 women there — an unusually high number since we were hosting the higher-security population. That was encouraging, but not exactly what I was looking for.
THEN — tonight, it was like the Holy Spirit Himself restored my joy and refilled my tank. The most amazing thing happened — too many coincidences to be merely that.
Just earlier today, I was speaking to my boss about a young lady that really got my heart when I met her in jail about a year ago. Maybe it was because she was about the age of my own daughter. Maybe it was because when I heard about the childhood she had, my heart was broken for her. Maybe it was because she asked probing, intelligent questions that challenged me and in doing so, ministered to me as much as (or more than) I to her. I don’t know, but she has been on my mind ever since.
I was telling my boss that she should be in work release by now and that I really hope she reaches out to me. I want to know that she is doing well. I know in my heart that would be unusual because the last time I see most of these girls is while they are still in jail. I trust that God carries them and puts other people in their lives to help them, even if it isn’t I who gets the privilege.
But selfishly, I wanted to see her again, to believe we had made a difference in her life, and to see for myself that she could recover from her past suffering and have a new life.
After dinner tonight, David and I decided to take a walk. As we walked, we decided that instead of exercising, we were going to do pretty much the opposite and walk to the restaurant that serves our favorite dessert and enjoy it! After admitting we shouldn’t, that’s exactly what we did.
When we walked into the restaurant, I noticed that in one of the rooms, Jeopardy was still on and asked if we might sit in there (even though that section was pretty empty). No sooner had we told our server we were just having dessert and taken our seats, then I saw her, pushing a broom.
I’m always careful not to embarrass any of these girls I meet “on the outside.” I let them lead, even if they choose not to acknowledge me. But with her, I couldn’t help it — I jumped up and ran over and hugged her tightly. It was clear that it was no secret her situation, and she struck up a very open conversation.
She is working at two places, only has a few more weeks in the program, is clean, and has been granted regular visits with her sweet little girl until such a time when she may have her back full-time. She hopes to some day, when she is done with all of her sentence and probation, serve with us at the jail. She will have an incredible testimony — I can’t wait to see how God will work through her.
We exchanged phone numbers and I asked her if it would be OK for David to take a picture of us together. I’m not going to post it (she can if she so chooses), but I will cherish it. To look at the smile on her face is to momentarily forget the pained, guarded grimace that I saw the first time I met her — something I hope to never see again.
I hope that I can continue to be a part of her life, loving her and helping her however I can, however she needs.
Thank you, God, for orchestrating this series of events that I might be in the right place at the right time to witness your goodness, your mercy, and your love for her and for me. I’m glad I cheated on my diet, left home before Jeopardy was over, and above all, I’m glad He called me to this ministry and gave me the courage to answer it.
Tip well — you never know what they have endured or the battles they face.