by scorwin | Jul 14, 2014 | Funny (and Possibly Inappropriate), Prison Ministry, Stuff That Has Happened to Stacy
I am overwhelmed — had jail ministry tonight and for the first time ever (according to the jail chaplain), 100% of the female population to whom we were ministering came to our group — 23 ladies! There was not a single lady left on the block. (more…)
by scorwin | Apr 28, 2014 | Funny (and Possibly Inappropriate), Stuff That Has Happened to Stacy
This morning, I forgot my phone at home. I realized it when I was on my way to work but less than a mile from home, so of course I turned around to retrieve it. When I got back home and shut the car off, I sprinted to the front door. As I entered our enclosed porch entryway, I was greeted by the scent of lemon. I was reminded by the aroma that weekend, I had cleaned the walls and woodwork with lemon Pledge. This is something I have done regularly since reading that it repels spiders. I’m not sure if it works, but it smells good!
I unlocked our entry door and stepped into our front room, where the scent profile changed to that of Murphy’s Oil Soap. I recalled that I had also cleaned the hardwood floors and baseboards this weekend. Lovely. At this point, I feel like a Basset Hound with his head out the car window — sensory overload. I’m so awesome. (more…)
by scorwin | Jan 21, 2014 | Funny (and Possibly Inappropriate), Stuff That Has Happened to Stacy
With all the negative comments I hear about the weather, I feel compelled to share my uniquely positive spin. In spite of all the discomfort and inconvenience — even the perilous danger, there is so much beauty.
There’s the pristine beauty of the freshly fallen snow.
There’s the brilliant sparkle from the ice that coats the limb.
There’s the flash of red as the cardinal flies across the white landscape.
But, I think my favorite thing about winter is when the snow scraper is in the car & you know that when you open the car door to get the snow scraper & start your car, snow is going to blow in all over your seat. So you use your hands to brush enough snow off the door frame that you might prevent it, but when you open the door, an avalanche of snow comes from nowhere and blows right on your seat.
So, you use your gloved hands (already snow-covered & wet from the previous vain attempt to avoid this predicament) to brush the snow from the seat (and all over the front of your legs) before retrieving the scraper & starting the car — all the while getting the snow from the front of your legs all over the seat again as you lean across the seat in the process — then brushing off the rest of the car while the car heats up.
Then, when you are all done cleaning off the car, you climb into your nice, warm car….
and sit right in the puddle where the seat warmer has melted all that snow.
Yes, that’s definitely my favorite part of winter.
by scorwin | Oct 7, 2012 | Funny (and Possibly Inappropriate)
Read that The DSM will soon label nail biting—currently listed as “not otherwise classified,” a.k.a. not a big deal—as an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). (more…)